Evaluating Intercultural Behaviour: On Personal Space

I was in Germany last summer, and as one might imagine, culture shock was an everyday event. In fact, it was the case that throughout my travels in Europe, I constantly encountered cultural mores that were alien to me even with my generally liberal upbringing. This is just one story out of the many I encountered.

I did my attachment at a small university/church town in the Northern part of the country called Muenster. Its traditionally a Catholic stronghold and by virtue of that, the population is regarded as more conservative. However, the "conservatism" in Europe is vastly different from the norm in our part of the world.

On the second day in Germany, we were introduced to some German students, presumably to be our unofficial guides in the country. We shook hands enthusiastically with the male students. It was easy to relate to them of course, based on the common interest we shared, soccer. Talk quickly turned to upcoming matches and promises to meet to watch the matches. It was refreshing to meet people who were so friendly upon the first meeting and also so much alike despite coming from so different a culture.

The idealism didn't quite last though. When the German girls came over to introduce themselves I extended my hand in friendship and smiled. It was the normal greeting method after all, wasn't it. To my surprise, she slapped my hand away and went in for a hug and a peck on the cheek. I was too shocked to react. I was meeting this person for the very first time! The same thing happened with the other girls.

One might think that I'd be glad to have received a hug. But most Singaporeans have a very different perception of what constitutes personal space. And accordingly, my first reaction was one of anger. I felt that this person had trespassed on what constituted my personal space, intentional or nay.

The longer I spent in Europe though, the more I realised that people in Europe defined personal space a little differently from the way that I did. In group projects, members (male or female) would lean in and put their arms around you while you were showing them something on the computer screen. I was terribly unnerved at first but later learned to accept it. In fact, I realised that the boundary by which I defined personal space had become a lot smaller when I returned to Singapore.

I have a foreign colleague in my FYP lab now and when he wants to talk to me he comes up to me a lot closer than one would expect from a working colleague. My lab partner even once jokingly remarked that the two of us should start dating. I might have been offended and pushed him away before my sojourn in Germany but my European travels taught me how to be a lot more flexible with other people's customs. Surprisingly too, it changed my outlook of other people and how much personal space was really necessary for an individual.